5 years ago today

...at 10:07 pm, my mom passed away from pancreatic cancer. Does today make me sad? No, it was actually a relief when she died because the pain and agony was unbearable! What makes me sad is that she got sick in the first place!! Why do good people have to feel pain? She was so 'good'....kinda like the saying, "the good die young." She was so loyal, unselfish, thoughtful, energetic, positive, happy, the list could go on...she was just the kind of person that you wanted to be around! You wanted to share your joys and sorrows with her because she genuinely cared. Such a devoted friend, mother, wife and person! My mom was my world, we hardly breathed without talking to each other! Scott used to say that we could have conversations without even talking because we knew each other so well. That's what I do everyday, we have "silent" conversations! 

She loved Scott as much as her own sons. She would always tell me that she thought he was as cute as Brad Pitt!!! Oh, and ya, she was funny too ;-)! But, she wasn't kidding- she admired him! The connection between her and Scott is still rooted in my heart! The three of us hung out all the time, and we laughed hard! He would just give her a long hug for no reason other than he loved her, and she loved his hugs (almost as much as he loved her cooking!!) She would always say that there is nothing in the world like a real "Scott hug!" You know...not one of those, "hey, nice to see you hugs!" but a long, genuine, loving, sincere hug! It's nice to be reminded of their love every time I get one of those "Scott hugs!" When Scott and mom were on a swing....no one else was allowed to join! They would swing for hours at our beach house and Leaky. They only liked to swing with each other because other people would just "ruin their rhythm!!" 

Scott gives me so many sweet compliments...and the best is that he always says, "You are getting more and more like your mom, and that makes me and our children extremely blessed!" Gosh, that compliment is like gold to my heart! She deeply impacted everyone's life. She took a chunk of our hearts with her 5 years ago today! And man-o-man, she would live, sleep and eat 'all things Hunter!" His pizazz already reminds me of her!

Have I healed from her death? Yes, but I still see and feel the scars daily. I will forever have 'scars' that remind me of the pain and hurt..but the scars also remind me of the years of happiness. Most importantly, the scars remind me of the kind of person I want to be...especially the kind of mother I want to be!

Hunter facts: He can actually whistle! He makes "whistle lips" all the time and blows real fast...and every once and while, a whistle comes out and it shocks him!! He is full of kisses- big, open mouth kisses!! He is starting to move around when he sleeps at night. He stays on his back or side. His laugh is so contagious. Scott asked me, "What is your favorite thing about Hunter?" My answer....His love for life! We also enjoyed our playdate at the Butterfly Exhibit with friend Matthew Strickland, and swimming with Cayden Cribbs.

 

 

 

8 Months old!

Life is like a reality show...in fast forward! I feel like the past 8 months have moved faster than one episode of American Idol! Hunter has blossomed into 'himself' the past month. He has his own 'language' and personality...a very witty one! He is still IN LOVE with the beautiful nursery lady at the church. He starts 'panting' and kicking his legs (like he wants me to move faster) as we walk into church because he knows that he is going to see her! He totally admires her! Hunter would push his good friend Matthew if she held him! He was okay if she held a girl or if she "ignored' him...he just didn't want Matthew to share her lap with him! Hunter will share toys in a second, but he will not share his girlfriend!! He has fabulous taste...I will take her picture one day for you to see. Most men would love to sit on her lap!!! ;)

8 month fun facts:

• About 19 lbs.
• Ticklish on feet
• Laughs at the drop of a dime...great belly laugh!
• Knows to look and smile at the camera
• Claps all the time...with a smile on his face
• Just now starting to roll all over the place...back to belly, belly to back-over and over!
• "Scoots" around, mainly backwards. He is not crawling yet.
• Eats breakfast, lunch and dinner...I am making the baby food, which is SUPER easy! He eats
• oatmeal and fruit right after breastfeeding in the morning around 8:00, then usually a jar of baby food on the go for lunch around noon, and oatmeal and veggie for dinner around 6:30. Scott feeds him dinner every night.
• As of now- he likes veggies more than fruit, but prunes are his favorite.
• Uses consistent words/sounds for things. "mia" for mom or me, "hesh" for Zoe and Bentley. He can make all the "ma, da, ba" sounds and he has lots of other 'words' but I haven't figured out their meanings yet.
• 2 naps. Morning 9:00-10:00 or 10:30 and afternoon 2:00-3:00 or 4:00. He usually takes one long nap, while the other is like an hour. I never know which nap is going to be long.
• Still breastfeeding. I don't think he is drinking as much, he may be making the progression to more food intake/less milk. He breastfeeds 5 times a day.
• Still sits in his magic green chair every morning for 45 min while watching cartoons, so we have time to get ready...hope this doesn't stop!
• Pacifier and foam letters are his favorite toys...straight to mouth! He doesn't care much about toys!
• Still has a Mohawk...light/short on sides, dark/long on top! Perfect hair for his personality!
• Every night he sleeps in sleep sack with pacifier.Nap time, he also sleeps his with lovie.
• No teeth yet!
• Just started "grasping" food and feeding himself (banana, soft carrots, avocado) Pictures of the first time we fed himself...hilarious! It was harder than he thought!
• Puts his hands in the air and opens mouth real big when he wants a bite! Hands in the air because I would always say 'no' when he would put his hands in mouth while being fed. I was trying toavoid extra mess (carrot hands!) He caught onto the program, and throws his hands in the air!
• Gets distracted by his bib while eating. He stares at the colors/prints!!

We are still enjoying young mothers Bible study, play groups, lunch dates, walks, outings and of course....our favorite..."pizza Wednesday with daddy!" We meet at Scott's office and walk to the Galleria for pizza. We see the same people every week, and they always look forward to seeing Hunter on Wednesdays!! He has "fans" that will wait for me by the elevator...just to see that "Hunter smile" before moving on with their day! Yes, these are business men and women that don't even know me or Scott...they have just fallen in love with Hunter. They have seen Hunter every Wednesday at 11:30 for the past 8 months, one lady said that it is the highlight of  her week! Gosh, I love this little guy. His love for life is so contagious!

 

Mother's Day

My first "official" mothers day. I say "official" because Scott and I have always celebrated with our original 'babies'...Zoe and Bentley!

I had a great day, and it started off with a great morning! Scott went running early (like 5am early) which is just part of Scott's routine...yes, he's crazy!! Anyways, Hunter woke up early on Sunday (Mother's Day) which is unusual for Hunter. I was caught off gaurd, so my first instinct  was to be annoyed that I had to deal with his "post operation" needs on Mother's Day! Then, I quickly remembered my mom telling me about our times together in the nursery chair. I was the youngest of 4, so she rarely got to just sit and rock me. She said that she looked forward to me waking up in the middle of the night so she could rock me and just 'be with me!' She would jump at any "peep" I made...that was "our time!" I sat down in the rocking chair with Hunter on my chest, and I said, "Happy Mothers Day Zsa Zsa!" I know that was my mom's way of telling me "Happy Mothers Day!" That was sweet mom...but next time, can you make Hunter sleep a little later, hehehe ;-)!!

My mom wrote me a letter towards the end of her life. A letter that reflected on our one of a kind friendship, our memories, and our future as connected souls. One part said, "When you rock your baby know that my arms are wrapped around you. This will be our time to connect. Thank you for being my baby, now enjoy yours." That's what I did...I enjoyed the moment...the moment of being a mom to such a sweet baby boy!!

We were still in the rocking chair when Scott got home. He had breakfast, cards, and flowers. Scott always writes the sweetest things to me. He is such a special friend and husband. We had a nice day of R&R, then went to dinner...my favorite- sushi! Hunter did great in the high chair, I can't believe how fast he is growing! I loved my first mother's day, and I really loved feeling connected to my mom...she sure did raise the bar HIGH as a mother!!

Surgery Success!!

Thank you all for you thoughts and prayers. Hunter's surgery went great! He is one tough cookie! He has bounced back from the surgery, and he hasn't skipped a beat! Surgery was Friday morning at 7:00. We had to get there very early, which we were nervous about because we REALLY did not want to wake Hunter up. He had been fasting so we knew he is going to be HUNGRY when he woke. So, we SLOWLY transitioned him (at 5:00am) from crib to car seat. Scott had to do everything, because as soon as I touch him....he thinks FOOD! Anyways, the plan worked smooth as butter! He woke up at 7:15...literally the exact minute the doctor came to get him! He looked so confused when he woke up, it was hilarious!! The anesthesiologist talked with Scott and I for a long time, so we felt very comfortable with the process. He was only 'under' for about 20 minutes! The entire surgery from entry to exit was 45 minutes.The surgeon was able to remove the "core" of the ear skin tag, so there will be no regrowth's in the future and we will not have to worry about the "core" effecting his ear drum.

I couldn't have planned it better....thank you God....we got to see Hunter right at 8:00. This was great because Hunter usually eats at 8:00. So, he immediately calmed down because I got to feed him, which made waking up from surgery a little easier. The ride home was NOT fun! He was scared, uncomfortable, tired...I'm sure he felt awful. He cried, screamed, moaned, and panted. Scott did a great job at staying calm while driving...the tension in the car was insane....partially because Hunter's reaction and partially because I was trying to sing over the crying ;-) Here is Hunter's face on the way home...

 Hunter quickly calmed down once we got him home and gave him his prescription of hydrocodone...a whopping 1 ML!! I was nervous to give it to him, but I was SURE it was the right thing to do! I also busted out the "baby lamb swing." That swing brought him so much comfort the first few months of his life...I thought that I would try it out! Even though his head and feet hung over the edge, and the swing motor was making a loud clicking sound due to weight limit...we had success! He was sound asleep for 3 hours!

Hunter's recovery consisted of some extra TLC, 5-6 hours of napping, and he slept 13 hours straight last night. So, today...Hunter is back to normal and ALL SMILES! Again, thank you all for your love and support! Picture of ear skin tag before surgery-look at bump right outside ear. The bump was growing towards inner ear, and was going to continue to grow. (sorry pic is too close).Our little boy....Mommy and Daddy love you so much. We were anxious to get this surgery over with. You have proven that you are resilient, tough, and oh-so-sweet!!

 

Happy Cinco de Mayo

Special prayer request...Hunter is getting surgery tomorrow. He is getting a skin tag removed on his ear. The "core" of the tag is actually inner ear. They have to remove the core or else the tag will continue to regrow and get bigger and bigger. His skin tag is not attached to any nerves, ear drum, etc...so this is just cosmetic. Considering skin tags grow as the baby grows....the scar will be smaller the younger the baby is upon removal. Right now, the skin tag is about the size of a "large pen dot"...so it's pretty small. We have a GREAT pediatric-plastic surgeon! He has been around a long time. His experience and credentials are impressive. My pediatrician (whom I LOVE) used him for her sons surgery.

Hunter is 7.5 months old, and I officially feel like I no longer have a "baby!" He is growing into a "big boy" with a big personality! He is really communicating, in his own form....only Mommy understands his "language!" He has his own words/sounds that he consistently makes at certain things and situations. I know when he is excited to see someone, wants to go to sleep, wants more food, wants to be left alone, wants to play with Zoe or Bentley, wants a certain toy, wants a hug, and I can even tell if he is comfortable in the clothes he's wearing...no joke! His babbles, sounds, facial expressions, and body language is all very expressive...and all together is how is communicates, and believe me, he gets his point across!! 

His favorite toy is his pacifier! He holds it in his mouth in all different ways. I can't believe how many hours of entertainment this tiny piece of rubber has provided! He also sucks his bottom lip. He looks so cute when he does this. It always makes me laugh. This is a pretty new thing, and it doesn't look like this new habit is going anywhere anytime soon!

Sooo happy to report that we have totally eliminated the 'top-off' feeding. Scott and I used to give Hunter 2 oz. around 10:00pm. We didn't wake him, we would just slightly lean him up in his crib and 'top him off!' We felt this helped him sleep until 7am.  We slowly weaned him over the past 2 months. One week, we would go down to 1.75 oz, then 1.5, then 1.25....you get the picture.  Last week, we used .25 oz and he slept great all night. So, last Thursday we totally skipped the 'top-off'...and waa-laa...the weaning worked! Not one shed tear...he did great!

This may be T.M.I....but, sad to report that we have experienced our first bought of constipation! Wowzer, that was not fun to watch! All is fine and great now, but he was in pain...red faced, deep grunts, screeching cry, etc. It lasted about 2 days before I went to the doctor. She decided we try "all natural" remedies, which TOTALLY worked!! I switched to baby oatmeal, rather than rice cereal. I gave him 2 oz of warm prune juice (diluted with 2 oz of water)/ twice a day. Along with one can of prune baby food for dinner, along with 1 ounce of prune juice in his nighttime bottle. I did this for 2 days...and let's just say, that he feels GREAT! I am going to keep using baby oatmeal and also going to incorporate a can of prune baby food daily or every other day...just to "keep things movin!" I have also discovered that he "goes the bathroom" almost every time he is in his excersaucer for at least 10 minutes. So, that is also part of our routine....10-15 minutes of excersaucer time before morning nap...works like a charm! ;-)

On my way to a Cinco-De-Mayo play date...this one's for the moms!! Quesadillas and margaritas! Have a good day, and I hope you get to "kick back and have a cold one!" Cheers!